Life is not easy. Especially when you are in a family of invisible illnesses and disabilities. It can be serious, funny and downright hard! But we make it. Just like everyone else. We just do it in a different style.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Telling a Hard Story

After writing the last blog post, I started another one right away, and stopped.

It was too difficult to just jump right in and talk about how this last year has changed us. I realized that I was not that detached from the emotions this year stirred up. It was still difficult to talk about the changes, the loss and the bewildering confusion.

Then I realized that this blog was my way of coping. That every day that I attempted to write this stuff down was a day of recovery. Others might read it or might not, but once it was written down, for me, it would be a successful day. Another day after a bad one. I realized if I could put a whole lot of days like that behind me, we (my son and I) would turn around eventually and see how far we had come.

Grief is the human response to loss. Loss of any kind. The death of something can be just as painful as the death of someone. In having to let go of a former life, do we pause to grieve? Or do we do like our society tell us, "start a new business, get back into the scene, try a new hobby..." Even when someone suggests counseling, it is more about "moving on" than dealing with grief.

I found out that giving ourselves time to grieve what we have lost is so important. It validates our feelings and our situation. It lets us know that we are not just a blip on an evolutionary timeline. Something hurt and I am going to stop and acknowledge it! That doesn't make us weak or failures. We are not just complaining. To grieve is one of the most human things we can do...and should do.

Have you grieved the changes in your life? What helps you in your process? Can you look back on it or is it a daily thing? Has it taught you anything or brought out things in you that you never knew you had? I would love to hear about it.