Ankles, Schmankles, Part 1

This has to be Part 1 because we don't see the orthopedic doctor for another week.

But, just to fill some of you in, this weekend, my young son "twisted/sprained" his ankles yet again. I say "yet, again" because we have lost count. Somewhere back in 2004, he began to fall, trip and twist his ankles.

First it was the right side, and then, as if by some strange decision, he only began to have problems on the left side. We have been to the two hospitals in our area. The second one knows us by sight now. We know the drill. I even call to make sure their Patient Fast-Trak is open. We don't need to sit there five hours just for someone to tell us it's not broke.

Not that it hasn't been broke. At some point between September 2004 and June 2005, he fractured the inside and outside ankle bones in that left foot. No one to this day, including doctors knows how he did that. He mumbled something about balancing on a ball. I told him he wasn't a seal as they put the metal Robo-boot on.

But it didn't stop.

A year later, running hurdles, he chipped a bone of the same foot. Wrapped up again, and afraid for further damage, I started hiding the skateboard, rollerblades and bicycle. Then, I listened as other Moms of athletic kids complained of broken bones, and I started to relax and feel a little better.

Until the bone didn't heal and nearly a year after that, the chip had to be surgically removed. He had been in almost constant pain, and I felt like a guilty criminal for making him walk on it.

By this time, I started to get worried. Everyone assured me, it was just childhood and he would be fine.

Except it happened again, and again. After awhile, whenever he walked, he said, his foot "cricked" and the pain would start. Sometimes, he could crick it back. Sometimes, he couldn't. When he couldn't, the pain was hardly bearable and nothing helped. No painkillers, ice, heat, pain patches; nothing. Except if he could crick it back.

Off we went to see more doctors. One orthopedist blew us off. "Kid is just accident-prone." Onward to the podiatrist. He thought that arthritis was setting in the area near the surgery, but had no clues on the ankles, since all the x-rays looked fine. He put my son on Glucosamine/Chondroitin and MSM, but the insurance balked at paying for prescription strength pain patches and orthotics.

This was where I was last week, when it happened again. This time, all he did was walk from the kitchen into the dining room, and "Aaaarrgghh!!!"

I knew the sound by now. I didn't even break a sweat. "See if you can crick it, honey," I called out from the dining room.

It wouldn't crick. Not then, not all night, not the next morning.

Off to the ER we went. X-rays are fine, but this time, the diagnosis was tendonitis.

Wait a minute. Not a sprain or twisted ankle?

No, he has tendonitis or tenosynovitis.

"From walking!?!" I shouted, not realizing my voice was rising.

I mean, since the dysautonomia diagnosis, he hasn't been the athlete. We just completed physical therapy for 2 months, so I know he's not deconditioned.

To make this saga short, we now have to see yet another orthopedist to see if someone can tell us something.

In the meantime, he continues to have sharp pains, feels better with the brace on and pops Naproxen when it gets unbearable.

I no longer know what we are dealing with here. Just last month, he began to complain of sharp pains near his hip whenever he twisted in the shower or bent over and didn't come straight back up. The complaints about all his joints have increased.

And as usual, I am on the Internet, looking, asking and searching for answers. Just pray that this doctor will bring this five year ordeal to a close.

Changing Blog Layout

Oh, please bear with me as I try to change the layout of my blog!

Here I am a student, studying IT and I have come to the conclusion that I like people more than I like machines and code. I am more interested in connecting with you than making things spin, jump and rotate. So much for that Bachelors in IT. After I finish my Associate degree in IT, I will be moving on to either plain Communications or Web-based Communications as my next major.

So, I have changed this site not to make it snazzier, but easier to read and understand. There may be more changes, but I am looking for feedback.

Please let me know if you like ads and links on left or right. Let me know if you don't mind colors. Being a visually-impaired person, I tried to pick colors that are strong and dark for text and links. I also made the background white. This is best for most readers.

I will be adding a newsletter sign up soon. Why?

Because I want to let you know new things before they hit here (easier to dash off an email than to write a blogpost!) I promise you will NOT get more than one every 2-3 weeks. Seriously. I have enough mail in my Inbox. I know how you feel.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Take care.

A Lightbulb Goes Off

This started out as a response to one of my friend's blogpost. Mia, at General Hysteria, wrote a very important post about how she was finally going to change from being the MommyBot, to being a Mom.

MommyBot is my word for the mother who is running herself ragged tending to kids to her own detriment, and their spoiled rottenness. The mother who looks horrible, knows it and is so demoralized by her own tiredness that she has ceased to care. The mother that secretly wonders why she became a mother at all. I know, we all have "one of those days," but this is more than one day or two. Before you know it, this feeling stretches into months or all their elementary years.

Now, I know this is old school, but sometimes, I feel we are hovering too close, especially, if we have children with special needs or autism. I am not talking severe autism here. Those children do need constant care, especially if they can be aggressive or bolters.

No, I am talking about jumping at every call, every cry and every whine. Here is the response I was going to leave her. It got so long, it became its own blogpost!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yaaay, Mia!

You don't know how happy I am to see this post!

Not knowing you as long as friends I have had for years, I didn't want to get on here and give you a good talkin" to, but I was really tempted. Perhaps my energy came through the Internet!

We can't give our children everything! We can't be there every moment. This is a left-over response from when they were really little and really needed that kind of care. I am not talking about severe autism that continues to need close supervision. I am talking about responding to every whim and noise.

One of the hardest things I have to do in the Unique Family is NOT run to the aid of everyone every time. With my bunch, there wouldn't be any of me left.

I don't know if you ever saw the movie "Ray," about Ray Charles. One of the most moving scenes was when he fell in their little home and his mother wouldn't come running to his side. She actually didn't even say, "honey, get up." She stayed quiet while her darling boy learned to rely on his other senses to orient himself to the world.

I keep that image in my head, EVERY DAY.

My oldest, Aspie son is nearly 17 now. He is so independent, it scares me, but I am happy. No one will take advantage of him. He knows how to shop, cook, clean for himself. He is learning money management and how to save. As we work with DORS in the next two years to get him working, he will be ready to be on his own.

My youngest, on the other hand, is my whiner, mommy's boy. And being chronically ill, makes it worse. Yesterday, he wanted to make a cinnamon toast sandwich. I told him how to make it. He went to look for the cinnamon and couldn't find it. Normally, I am just on "auto" and jump up and get it or even make it. But, recently, I decided that at 13, nearly 5'10" and 211 lbs, he is big enough to start learning the truth about life and his condition.

I told him two places to look, how to spell it and what color the bottle was. Five painful minutes went by. Everything in my heart strained to get up and end it, but I stay glued stubbornly to my chair. He literally took everything out of the top spice cabinet, then walked in and said he couldn't find it.

I sighed but stayed put.

"Go back," I said. "Look for this word," writing 'cinnamon' on a piece of paper, "It is either in the top spice tier or the one with the door on it."

He responded,"Oh, I didn't hear the second part." This is common in speech/language disorders and short-term memory deficits.

Back he went for ANOTHER 4 MINUTES! I was positive the toast was cold by this time.

But he found it. He called out triumphantly, "I got it!"

Trying to stay as calm as possible, I said, "Very good, now finish the sandwich. Do you remember how to do it?"

"Yes," he replied.

A few more minutes later, he emerged from the kitchen with his sandwich on his plate. He sat, ate it in silence and then said,

"Thanks, Mom," as he went to clean up and saunter back into the living room to watch TV. He practically fell into the easy chair, obviously tired from that little bit of exertion.

But, I got a "Thanks, Mom."

Not because I made it for him. I usually have to say "Now, what do you say?" to get the proper 'thank you.'

No, this reply was based on something different.

I didn't save him. I didn't make it easy. I made him do it. And, he thanked me for the experience.

Moms, I know we straddle a very tall fence. Spoil them or fear we are neglecting them. Run to every call or see if they can work it out for themselves. Don't be too hard on yourself if you are one side or the other. I straddle that fence, falling over to one side or another, too.

But, I think I am finally finding my balance. You will, too.

Take care.

A Hard Life Ahead

After the last post, I really hate to change the direction and emotional energy of the blog, but this is supposed to be a real account of the kinds of difficulties the Unique Family goes through. So, today, I am going to cover an area of my life that is unfolding even as I write this.

A while back, I posted an audioblog that attempted to reveal some of the turmoil that has surrounded my personal life for the last several years.

I am talking about my husband and the multiple areas of his life that we are finding out are stunted and deformed.

When I wrote his Update, Update, Part 1, I focused on the epilepsy and sleep apnea, and only lightly touched upon the depression into which he slips every once and awhile.

Today, I am going to tell you what I think is going on. Now, I am not a doctor. We haven't seen any doctors to confirm anything yet, but if there are any parents of children with autism, adhd or learning disabilities out there reading this, you know a problem when you see it.

For years before I met him, my husband put up a very good front for his family and friends. He projected himself as a friendly, outgoing, funny, computer entrepreneur. He had loads of friends, loved to eat out and go to the movies. And yet, certain things didn't line up. Little stories would sneak out now and then.

Like his fear of needles. No one loves them, but we would not jeopardize our health to avoid them. He would.

He seemed to be indecisive. Any decision took so long to make and then he second-guessed himself two, three or more times.

The people closest to him didn't seem to be going anywhere. For all his "out-goingness" and entrepreneurial drive, he picked people that weren't progressing or growing to be his closest friends.

His family, openly verbally abused him, calling him very degrading names.

Still, he seemed to be looking positively into the future when he met me, and he wanted my children and I to be a part of it. He won me over with his sense of humor, his loyalty and patience, especially since he walked into my life when I was on a downward spiral with my health.

But,the truth is, the whole thing was a facade.

He is not a successful businessman.
He is not a person who can lead a business or a family.
He cannot handle financial responsibility.
He does not have many friends and frequently offends the ones he has.
He is not respected at his job.

I could go on, but, one, I think you get the idea, and two, seeing it in print is depressive.

But it is the truth.

The past several months have been one of major enlightenment for me as the house of cards slowly fell apart. Financially, physically and emotionally.



When I did the audio-blog and even the post about going on a Faith Walk, it was in the midst of understanding that the task before was not small. It was a monumental undertaking that might drain everything I had in me in order to see it through. I faced the fact that my marriage was not going to be what I hoped it would be, followed by a little trickle of fear that hissed, "Run for your life!"

Today, almost a month since the beginning of the Faith Walk, I'm ready to state some truths and affirm the mission I intend to embark on as long as I can.

The Truths:

1. My husband is a survivor. He has survived verbal, physical and sexual abuse.
2. My husband has epilepsy and sleep apnea. This may have affected his cognitive functioning.
3. My husband may have a learning disability.
4. My husband suffers with emotional disorders, specifically depression and anxiety disorder.

My affirmations:

I believe that my husband is not a malicious, mean-spirited person, but that for so many years of not getting the help he needed, as an act of survival, he uses deception, lies and fantasy to cope with his deficiencies. He lies not only to me, but to himself.

I believe despite all of his difficulties, he can feel love and does love me and my children.


I believe we are living in the best of times to get help for the ailments/disorders he has.

I believe intellectual and mental disabilities need to be treated with dignity, respect and kindness. Negativity only reinforces the need to deceive and hide.


I believe that the future will be a rough one. I cannot guarantee that I am cut out for this. I respect my right to say I can't.


I ultimately believe that love is the ultimate key to solving these problems. Without love, I turn off the ability to seek information to alleviate them. Without love, I cannot act with compassion. Without love, I manipulate and abuse, making me no different from his other abusers.

I don't know what else to say, except to ask those who pray, do so. Those who believe in positive energy, speak words of affirmation about us. Those with similar knowledge or life experiences, speak freely.

I appreciate everything and anything you do.




Photos were taken from Google Image searches.
Final painting is the work of d.Lawrence Coyle

Snazzy Pink Socks!-And They Feel Great, Too!

I am going to have to start a section in my blog called "People I Met Through Twitter."

Maybe, it will be on the new blog site I am currently slaving away on day and night. If you haven't read Momentous Decision, click here to read it. It talks about my idea to start a new blog. The end result is not exactly like I posted, but it outlines the spark that ignited my dream of new bloggie directions.

But this post is about a wonderful company I befriended on Twitter called Smart Knit Kids. Actually, the company is called Therawear and one of their products is called Smart Knit Kids. Their Twitter name is @smartknitkids.

Twitter is a great invention and businesses are getting on everyday. I think that is wonderful, but if you are not willing to do what @smartknitkids did, come to the front of the classroom, listen and learn.

First, even though there was a logo (everyone wants to tell you to put a face; not necessary), the person tweeting came across as real. They laughed (LOL!) email-style, they conversed and then presented a product I might be interested in. They explained the benefits to me; how it was a product specifically made for my children's sensory needs.

Next, they said, "We would be happy to send you a sample."

Hello? Something FREE? Yes, we love that. So, we exchanged information through a DM.

I was expecting a pair of socks. In less than a week, I got five. Two for each child and one pink pair for me. (Now, pink is not my favorite color, but I was intrigued.) The package came by UPS and included an handwritten note.

Okay, that blew me away.

But, what was better, was that their product lived up to what they said.

Instant integrity.

My oldest, who has Aperger's immediately put them on. Lately, he has a thing for socks and I am always looking for good ones. My youngest son, who has all manner of podiatric problems and is always complaining of ill-fitting socks and hurting feet, tried on the Large, but really needed the Xtra Large. That fit perfectly.

Well, you know I have to have customer feedback. The exchange went something like this:

"I think the large is too small." - young son
"Well, more for me, then." - oldest son
"Hey!!" - young son
"Here is the xtra large for you. How is that?" - ever-vigilant Mom
"Oh, that is much better. Perfect." - young son
"So...how do they feel?" - worried Mom, who is accustomed to rejection.
"They are fine." - young son
"Yea, just fine." - oldest son

Now, that may not sound like music to anyone's ears, but in my house, that is a rave review! Neither one of them gave them back or took them off. In fact, three hours later as I write this, they still have them on.

Success!!!


SmartKnitKids Socks 001
Originally uploaded by judielise

Next, I visited their site. I was a little shocked. It was your corporate-looking website with an online store that I have probably Google-searched passed many times. But, I knew someone in here. Her name is Rose. She sent me a note with her name on it, so I was comfortable. I found the socks, priced them and prepared to place our first order. And, their socks are value-priced compared to other specialty sockwear!

Now, some may say, well, Judi, of course, you write a good review because they sent you FIVE pairs of FREE socks.

Okay, you are missing it. They didn't have to do that, I didn't have to even talk to them online and this whole thing could not have happened. I could be blogging about something else, but I am not.

I am blogging about a company that wasn't afraid to get to know me, the customer, before they sold me a product. Then, their product lived up to their word. In other words, there was a connection. One of honesty and friendship, and a sale.

In my new blog, I want to write and discuss all about these kinds of connections. Big and small. Online and off.

And, Therawear/Smart Knit Kids will be in there.

Thanks for not spamming me and thanks for making a quality product. And, this is the only time you will see a posted picture of me in pink socks! Only you could get me to do it!


SmartKnitKids Socks 002
Originally uploaded by judielise

And, of course, Mom has to clean up.


Empty Box
Originally uploaded by judielise

All pictures are publicly available on Flickr

Short Update

Just a short message today.

The kids have to get haircuts today and we need to do grocery shopping. I am starting the third week of new classes and the work will begin to pile up from here on out. I love how teachers lull you in the beginning and then BAM!, read 8 chapters and give me 2000 words on this inane subject written in APA style.

But I digress.

I just wanted to let everyone know...WE HAVE HEAT!

Yes, our homeowners' insurance office sent someone over to look at our poor old furnace. It turned out to be a busted thermostat (!!) and a connection that needed to be reset on the furnace. Another person told us that the gas valve had died and the whole furnace needed to be replaced...to the tune of $1800.

The guy from the insurance told us that even though it is the original furnace: "you know, they don't make them like this anymore and you have more life left to it."

In other words, the furnace is fine. *Sigh*

All I can say is paying the $335 was better than $1800...and my Popsicle Toes have thawed out.

Take A Cartoon Break! But This is Not My Life, Seriously!!

I had to reprint this animation. Found it on Web Strategy by Jeremiah. It is such a funny take on the Twitterverse, of which I am a serious twember (Twitter Member).

I can't tell you the people I have met on Twitter that now are a serious part of my life. I have mentioned some of them in other posts. I hope to be able to talk about more.

So, now, sit back and enjoy this cartoon break.