Life is not easy. Especially when you are in a family of invisible illnesses and disabilities. It can be serious, funny and downright hard! But we make it. Just like everyone else. We just do it in a different style.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Am I an Introvert?

Just picked up a book called "Introvert Power and believe I have found a psychological basis for my entire maternal side of my family and my dad to boot!

I have always wondered at the high number of loners, single parents and just plain spinsters on my mother's side of the family. Now, I know spinster is an archaic word and I mean no disrespect to a particular aunt who is in that position. She is actually a very vibrant, active woman, but she has never been married, has no children, and as she floats into her 60s, doesn't even seem to notice that difference between her and the other 9 siblings she grew up with.

My sister, at 33, is unmarried and childless. I told her once after the nearly 30 hours of labor with my first-born, "Borrow, rent or lease, but never own." You would have thought I was talking about a car or something. I was delirious, but I think she never forgot it.

That was 16 years ago. She babysits, but hasn't birthed one yet.

I have married twice and each time, including this time, I feel like I could live alone. I don't dislike my husband, just the intrusions. I think that is why I stayed married to my 1st husband so long. He was a loner, too. He just didn't come to me whenever he came out of his reverie. But, that is another story.

Introvertism fits me. After reading that over half of the population is considered introverts, I feel like I have company. Like an internet connection I just haven't tapped into yet.

I also think that my HFA/Aspie son is taking after his family. Yes, I realize that autism is a spectrum and is a very serious neurological wiring concern, but his love of peace and quiet and solitude reminds me of my dad (who didn't get married until he was 50, BTW). My brother, who is married, seems always holed up in his bedroom, which doubles for everything: media center, office, nurturing station. Is there something to a possible HFA and introvert personality? I leave that question open to who ever wants to tackle that one! I don't answer 'em, just ask 'em!

On Twitter, we have a group: #introverts and I quote lines from the book. There is not a lot of activity going on. That's okay. That doesn't bother introverts. We know we are there. Lurking, listening, touching it with our minds. We don't need reams of tweets and discussions to realize our connection.

For once, I feel like I totally belong. My solitude is connected to others in theirs. How perfect a world.

Here are some spots for introverts looking for validation, coaching and life lessons:

Pat Weber, sales coach:

Introvert resources site:

Introversion from a Christian perspective:

Nice new Introverted blog I found: